Dating a guy in the closet
Stockholm syndrome is described as a subconscious survival strategy, and sometimes as an emotional tie to one's captor.
A great example of this would be someone in an abusive relationship, and, let's face it, what is dating a closeted gay man if not an emotionally abusive relationship?
Do we really think a man will finally come around and fall madly in love with us and the pieces will fall into place? Maybe we are more willing to look past the negative because deep down we don't ever feel truly accepted by society.
Could it be possible that, just maybe, we don't feel worthy enough of those dreams we have of living a life with a family or someone who loves us and wants to show us off to the world like we do them?
Why have I seen so many gay men let someone build them up and smash them down when it's convenient for that person?
I'm notorious for falling in love with emotionally or socially unavailable men.
Why are we okay with being degraded to number two to a wife, to a life, or to the simple fact that someone isn't comfortable with himself?
We know how we feel in the moments we get to be wrapped in someone's arms, and we know how we feel when we don't have those arms to be safe in, but is that fleeting comfort and sporadic affection worth the rollercoaster ride of being with someone who can't, or won't, fully invest their time, and more importantly, their heart in you?
I remember I was in a therapy session and my therapist at the time suggested I cut all ties with this man, and I sat there and gave her a list of reasons why I couldn't, why I wouldn't do it. It seemed to be a reoccurring event, I'd complain about everything he'd done wrong, then defend him and make an excuse for each complaint I had just made.
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There was never a point in those five years I felt worthy enough for someone I saw as so perfect.