Dating in hell
) that he kills a few of her toxic friends here and there — and for its cautionary tales about privacy both online (stop posting your geolocations) and IRL (for the love of god, white people, draw your curtains! You depicts a funhouse New York, where it’s set and filmed, with such charming and hilarious specificity (“Just like a Bareburger wrapped in chard!
”) that, sequestered as I was in the prairies of the Midwest, I found myself aching for the city.
If you're like 95% of online daters, you Google a person before meeting.
The problem is, you're only getting part of the story.
People don’t just strike up conversations in bars or coffee shops anymore. When the show begins, Beck is in a situationship with Benji, a financier’s son who’s opening an artisanal soda company (motto: “drink better by hand”) who “hides his privilege with a few Black Lives Matter retweets.” He is a royal douche who cheats on Beck, but still she keeps seeing him and clearly cares for him. “I don’t just want to be some guy you sleep with,” Benji tells Beck in the first episode, just before he proceeds to sleep with Beck and then ignore her calls.
) Instagram account (like the Croatian guy who’s “open-minded” but “full disclosure”: “is only into white chicks”). And even if you swipe right, you match, you do the awkward text back and forth, it goes well, you meet, you get married, that person might just kill you and use your social media to communicate with your friends and family for a year.
Talk to any single person in London, New York or Beijing (or any other city, village or town in the world for that matter) and they will tell you their location is The Worst when it comes to dating. Hong Kong is heaven for those who love to casually date but dating in Hong Kong is a special kind of hell for singles who no longer want to be single. Back in the day Hong Kong was considered a Plan B as per FILTH (failed in London, try Hong Kong) but nowadays Hong Kong is where the most hungry and driven people want to be.
These are great qualities when career progress is a priority but not when we seek love because we’re always aiming for something out of reach.
But the thing about You that made me a frenzied evangelist to all my friends, particularly my straight female ones, was what it manages to capture about dating in 2019, particularly in a city like New York.
In November, the Atlantic published a cover story by Kate Julian about our so-called sex recession.