Dating separated men kids
Evan, Your advice is spot on; I have recently been dealing with a couple of friends crying on my shoulder over the very same situation; they “fell in love” with a “separated” (AKA still MARRIED) guy and are now devastated.
One ended up going back to his wife and the other wanted to “explore a bit” and is now dating multiple women, on Tinder, etc..
It's easy to whip up a few seemingly innocuous lines, slap your most flattering photos up there and swipe away. We spent hours in bed, talking, hooking up, and breaking for more conversation. He was perfectly imperfect, perfect in his imperfections. Him: trying to navigate how to co-parent while figuring out his marriage was truly over. There were red flags all over the damn place, but choosing to ignore them felt better than acknowledging that there were real potential problems hovering beneath the surface. I knew that I was willingly making myself into a sidepiece. I knew better than to sleep with him, but I did it anyway– until I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to find someone that felt good to be around.
Hate to tell you, my dear, but you’re in way over your head. You are exhibiting all the feelings of a woman in love — the high highs, the low lows, the obsessive thinking, the lack of perspective, the need to put his feelings before yours — but this is not love.
Needless to say, my anxiety and uncertainty about our relationship heightened and caused doubt.
I ended up becoming THAT girl (the one who needs too much reassurance) out as a result and we have decided to take a break.
One thing is true, though: he was way more to me than just a married man.
I was putting the pieces of my newly shattered life back together and the other woman just wasn't a role I was willing to play long-term.
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Love is when TWO people are committed to each other by choice every single day, not when one person has tingly thoughts and can’t let go of a complicated situation. I couldn’t tell you if he’s going to go back to his wife, move out, or how quickly he’ll be able to move on.