Girl meets girl a dating survival guide
Think of Homer’s Odyssey (not Simpson), Dr Richard Kimble’s quest to find the one armed man in the Fugitive, or attempting to join the SAS.
These are all child’s play when compared with finding and keeping a Dutch woman.
As an expat, you’ll get away with standing up to them, and using a little humor always goes down well. If you’re from London, and a Dutch woman tells you the name of what she says is THE coolest club in the city, don’t politely point out to her that the place she’s referring to has been closed down for several years, and is in fact used as an old peoples home. Dutch women, are used to dating Dutch men, whose deep and passionate love of money is legendary.
A key thing I’ve learned about Dutch women is that they’re always right. I was watching the Dutch news earlier this week where an entire town will be without gas for the next few days.
What you need to know is that as an expat, if you stand your ground in face of the ugg booted onslaught, that Dutch women will forgive you and may even find your self-confidence attractive.
From Dutch men, they expect total acquiescence, and the ability to follow orders.
As Grandmaster Flash once said in the song White Lines, ‘don’t, don’t, don’t do it! Even after 10 years in the land of deep fried cuisine, I still can’t break the habit of opening doors for women.
The Netherlands is full of expat men, whose confidence has been shattered due to their experiences in attempting to date Dutch women.
Previously I provided some holiday season advice on dating Dutch women which many of my fellow expats appear to have ignored at their peril.
Impress your Dutch lady by waving your almost full book of stamps in her face, she’ll be like krentenbollen in your hands, and hopefully not as greasy.
If you value your life, never, ever, get the idea in your head to ask your Dutch partner to cook for you. A lot of Dutch women, just like their British counterparts believe that critical processes in preparing a meal involve a microwave, or a dangerous driving scooter rider to execute the delivery of the dish.