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This may be the biggest excuse men use for being lazy in relationships, much less finding one.

German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer addresses this issue in a wedding sermon he wrote for his sister from a Nazi jail cell.

Finally, we need to hear an outside word that we can’t quickly rationalize, twist, distort, or ignore. If your relationship becomes the center of their faith, the main and only encouragement they have in Christ, something has gone wrong. All four stand on their own as solid reasons to be committed to gathering (and being a member of) a local body.

Who is there to support and encourage when you’re having a bad day, or when your relationship needs a check because it’s gone off the rails into sin? Even the best married couples need other, godly voices speaking wisdom, conviction, comfort, and healing grace into their lives. Whether you’re a Baptist, Anglican, or Presbyterian, you want to be regularly reminded that Christ alone is the source of spiritual life—he died, rose again, and our union with him is the only true food for your soul. Yet all four play an important function with respect to your relationship to each other.

But I do know this— if you rely on this idea too much, your dating life will get really confusing.

Be as jealous for his time with body as you are about his time with you.

God will tell them if a relationship is right, and God will end it if it's not.

All they have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride.

To cap off my dating advice, I’d like to offer a warning and an encouragement. It does mean you have grounds for thinking it through with care. Finally, the encouragement: Men, make it your aim to be the first to encourage your sweetheart to be involved in fellowship with other believers, and the last to feed any desire to cut off from corporate worship.

First the warning: If you enter the relationship and suddenly stop going to church, pray less, and read less, that’s probably a sign it’s not heading in a godly direction. Be as diligent about carving out time for corporate worship as you are in carving “alone time” (the benefits of which should probably also be up for debate).

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