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By then I’d appeared the cover of the , lost my teaching career, and established a new one as a writer.I knew the scandal, compounded by the fact that I wrote openly about my personal life, would be too much for some men.Then, in 2010, I lost my teaching career after the In other words, like many potential partners you’ll meet — whether online, in a bookstore, or at a bar — I’ve got some baggage. Whether our experiences in the industry are positive, negative, or — as they very frequently are — neutral, many people paint all sex workers with the same broad brush.Aside from losing my career in dramatic fashion, dating was one of the toughest parts of being someone with sex work experience. They’re morally corrupt, or else so emotionally and even physically damaged by their experiences as to be undatable.That relationship taught me that “I don’t have a problem with what you used to do for money, just don’t ever talk about it” wasn’t good enough for me.When I started dating online, I knew I wanted to discuss my sex work past — and everything else — with anyone I got serious with.

It took six years, but I eventually found the courage to leave.Dave was, I thought, what I’d always been looking for: a guy who could look my mother in the eye.Then, a year later, I started working as a stripper to pay for college.The “good” guys who conflate sex work and sex trafficking, who assume all sex work to be tantamount to abuse, felt sorry for me.Almost invariably, they concluded I must have deep-seated psychological issues that meant our relationship would never become serious.

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