Why is online dating so hard
I also worry he may be just another catfish and I lose interest.’ Amy Sutton, a PR professional from Odiham, tried all the apps before finding her partner and said she had similar feelings when she saw a profile of a perfect ten.
She said: ‘I’d probably not message or add a really good-looking guy.
It may not sound like the most tear-jerking plight but research from Oxford University has found that men who consider themselves a 10/10 receive fewer messages than men who view themselves as an average-looking 5/10.
Michael Sullivan, a 27-year-old business development manager from Greenwich who sees himself a perfect ten, ‘or close’, has struggled with online dating.
Here’s the thing: everybody knows exactly what it means when a guy sends one of these.
It’s a way of saying “I know you’re probably not going to write back to me, so please notice me noticing you and do the hard work for me…” If you’re interested in them, send an email already!
‘It also has to do with the self-esteem of the person who is checking the profile.
They might think, “I am not that good looking and if I take someone who is much better than me, I might have issues, I might be worried about the faithfulness of my partner”.’ Urszula Makowska, a 24-year-old blogger from New York, has used Tinder and Bumble and admits she is put off when a guy is a 10/10.
‘They would have to look natural and happy with themselves,’ she explained. Max, a 24-year-old account manager from Croydon told us: ‘I don’t think it has any effect at all if I’m honest with you, we live in age where people are pretty switched on that no one is going to look 100% like their pictures. ‘Don’t get me wrong everyone loves an absolute weapon but you can’t just be a gravitational puller that expects people to flock to you, especially online. ‘I have three sisters though, so on top of looks it’s always good to have an idea of what women might want to hear.’ Not all guys who consider themselves average-looking feel that online dating works in their favour.
The vast majority of women on Tinder will no doubt find that every time they swipe right, they get a match, which then makes them overly picky to avoid the congestion of their matches list.
‘Too many guys swipe yes, yes, yes without looking.’ Max may have created his app to reinforce the message that it’s ‘what’s on the inside that counts’, but if the research of Oxford University is anything to go by, such a sentiment may benefit all, from the average to the very good-looking.
I’m a fan of the dating site email template – less of a form letter and more of a very easily customizable email that you send out in order to save time.
I’ve used a longer one in my day, but over the years, I’ve streamlined it down even further.